"There he is. Beyond perfect. With his 5 o'clock shadow and pearly morning grin rolling over to adore me. What the hell is wrong with me?".....She pressed her crackling bony balls of her feet to the heated slate floor to the kitchen for the fresh coffee. "I'm an asshole. I was raised to be virtuous, becoming and grateful. I married the man of my dreams. 'Boredom' in this phase of life is utterly selfish. My dreams are always a black empty room. If I can't have the adventure I've dreamed of since age 5, can't I at least feel some form of desperation, conflict, climax, triumph in my dream life? I enjoy taking care of him. I bring him his coffee and see his sweet smile of gratitude and loyal puppy dog love. My half smile-smirk followed by abomidable black guilt is my only response. "Love ya babe. Enjoy. You're the best, baby."
I feel like a Stepford Wife. Yet, I lived my whole life to be one. I've even journaling since I was eleven years old. I know what I wanted. Dark and mysterious. Pain and loneliness. Heartache and triumph. Rage, swords, wounds, imprisonment, rescue, freedom by my own means...and a ship I sail alone on the high seas before choosing the life of my liking...with the man of my dreams. Does it matter that the man came first? Stop being such a selfish asshole!"
But bottom line was...she wasn't sleeping.
"I'm sure these crazy thoughts have a lot to do with this insomnia. I'd give anything for one solid dream. A deep sleep. I'd give anything. Anything. I need to do something about this. What kind of quacks are out there for something like that? For insomnia? I'm desperate. I'll look. .....A psychiatrist may be a start. 'Dream Doctor' sounds a little cheesy but its on the top of the search list. Jack would of course, love to help me conquer this lame suburban-drama condition. My eyes and racing mind are bleary and almost high from the loss of concerns for the "real and awake" life we share together. I'm sure he would be happy to assist. I'll call the "Dream Doctor" tomorrow. ....their hours are....24 hours? What kind of doctor is even available on their mobile, let alone a office line 24 hours? 7 Days A Week!? Ok, fine. Here goes...."